I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
