I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
