Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
