Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
