I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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