i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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