Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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