what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
