Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
