Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional