we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine