It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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