If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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