Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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