that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm at about main and main street
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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