Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
