you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize