We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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