conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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