I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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