I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
