Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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