Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
