At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
