It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
