If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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