Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
