they need to just BURY HIM!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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