so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.