Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.