I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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