what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think your dad took our porno
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
