Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize