I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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