it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
