bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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