You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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