So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
