Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.