Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death