You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
