Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
