Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize