he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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