I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
