1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize