just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
