'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
