Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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