It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
