Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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