i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
soo... how was my night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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