Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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