Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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