with your own penis?
look no pants
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
