K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
