Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
