I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
