Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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