fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
