I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
